Contemplating

Lately I have been mesmerized by a book I am reading called Bittersweet by Susan Cain.  I adored her first book Quiet; it felt as though she had viewed my whole life as an introvert and it explains how introverts are largely marginalized in this very extroverted country. Bittersweet offers so many valuable insights and wonderful observations to share with others in my grief group at my church. When a book offers this much, I read slowly because I am so frequently putting it down to write things down, or look up something she mentions.  She is a true kindred spirit.

Settling into Success

It came along at a perfect time for me as several people close to me are suffering medical calamities, and just as my son Ben has been launched successfully into his bright and shiny new life – truly the bitter and the sweet.

Since November of last year, Ben’s life has been redeemed by God. His story has been a path strewn with miracles and blessings, all following his acceptance of following the Lord into his life.  His old life has been cast aside and he is thrilled to be ensconced in a great job, where he wants to live (the north Georgia mountains), with a terrific, supportive boss who is also recovering, and the promise of more goodness right around the corner.  His health is optimized, he joined a gym and he runs and has been leading some of his co-workers to a path of physical fitness. He is excited at the prospect of finding a girlfriend to share a life with and he hopes to marry and have children.  For many months as this built up itself, I felt as though my heart was overflowing with gratitude and life and happiness. It has been so long since Ben has been himself that although I always loved him and tried to visit him, and hoped and prayed, I always did so with trepidation and worry at the back of my mind.

Real Life

I do miss seeing him weekly.   There had been weekly trips to the city where he was in rehab to take him to the doctor, to visit, to go to the movies or the store over the past months, so I am very anxious to have him drive down to celebrate his birthday in a few weeks. My heart and soul had been so invested in helping in any way that I could that now, after breathing deeply for a few weeks, things are settling down into a real-life pattern.  I no longer worry if I do not hear from him for a day.  Trust has built upon itself and is now a simple fact.  He has been invited back into our home to spend the night for the first time in many years, and it is comfortable and lovely.

Wheels – the Blessing of Independence

Around the 10th of June, 2 and a half weeks ago, Ben was gifted with a truck from a church ministry.  David McCoy at McEachern UMC has an amazing ministry where donated vehicles are fixed up in their garage and given to individuals. When we heard of this amazing thing through my pastor’s wife Candi, we were floored. After celebrating with my son over the prospect of a car, Ben said “Wouldn’t it be cool it if was a truck?” And so it was – an older red truck. God’s agape was overwhelming. Ben was sorely in need and he was provided for, which is God’s promise if we are faithful.

I am no longer required to chauffer him.  When he comes to visit, he can now drive himself down. He drives himself to work and the grocery store and makes a decent wage so that he is finally independent financially. There is so much goodness that my chest aches with thankfulness to those who prayed and continue to pray for him, to those responsible for providing his car, and most of all for Jesus for his mercy and for intervening in my son’s life and lifting him from the misery he was ensconced in for so long. I pray prayers of gratitude every day.

I can’t say it any better than my son:

“I would like to sincerely thank Ebenezer Church prayer group for their tireless prayers and Dave McCoy at McCechern UMC car care ministries for their services and effort and for Mrs Candi Hannigan for the connection to them.  Thank you for believing me, lifting me up in prayer and for your generosity. I’m a living testimony of how GOD can turn things around when all seems lost, when all hope seems to have been abandoned. In the last six months I’ve accomplished so much in terms of restoration, redemption and my sobriety. I owe it all to GOD and those that believed in me. I’m filled with gratitude and amazement every day at the miracles and blessings. I’ve become something unrecognizable to who I once was, born anew. Thank you all so much for believing, caring, praying and for the services of car care ministries.”